“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.” Psalm 51:10
A pretty, washed face means nothing if the heart has not also been cleaned!
Of course, I had to learn this the hard way but who among us has experienced growth that wasn’t gained through hardship? Let me know if you’re the one!
There will not be many details given about the mistakes from my past but I will begin by sharing this. Although I was raised in a Christian home, attended youth group and always claimed to believe in God, I lived my life far from Him for many years.
So far from Him that I tried just about everything you can think of in my early twenties; a small-town girl gone wild in the big city and yet somehow I managed to remain tattoo-less! Many choices still make my heart ache for the hurt my younger self suffered due to her own poor judgement…
…But God.
The decisions I deeply regret have been neatly wrapped in God’s abundant mercy and grace. I am free, forgiven, redeemed. If He is willing to forgive and forget, I would prefer not to air dirty laundry that has already been washed clean and put away.
The purpose of my mentioning it at all is because I need you to understand I am not a “picture-perfect, born-and-raised” Christian. I have wandered, doubted, searched, studied and ended up here!
This day of 2020 (and what a year!), this story.
For a few years now, I dreamed of writing a bestseller after being backed by a big publisher. To get this story out to many women and earn a few dollars doing it but the more I learned the less comfortable I became with the mandatory tribe following, sales targets and self-promotion required to do so. It isn’t about me and the numbers I achieve, it’s about surrendering all of it to Him so He can accomplish His purpose.
God desires, and deserves, the glory. I want this available to all; whoever you are, wherever you live and regardless of how much you make. For the one person (or a thousand) reading this, there is something I want you to know deep down to your innermost core – how much God loves you.
Not once you’re washed, or mostly clean. He loves you right now, just the way you are. However you feel at this minute; a mess, used, abused, scarred, scared or weary. God wants to fill the broken places of your heart with a love that is perfect, unending and truly worthy of your devotion.
If that sounds like a love you’d like to learn more about, additional chapters of REPURPOSED will continue to be published over the months to come, for free! I pray you will discover His comfort, healing, hope and love as I share how God repurposed me.
Dedication
To my parents, Oma & Opa, for your love, faithfulness and example.
To my Mother-in-law, Mary, for your love (and laughter).
To my Husband, Ralph, for your love, loyalty and unwavering support.
My precious children, Max, Oliver & Madeline. Thank you for loving your Mama so well.
Whoever is reading this – that means you! Thank you!
And my redeemer, Jesus Christ, for everything!
With a full, grateful heart,
XO, Heidi
dear sister 